Today is Karthigai Deepam, a festival
celebrated by Tamilians. And we too are celebrating it at home. This festival
is special for brothers and sisters, just as Raksha Bandhan is in North India. So
I am putting up this post as my humble offering and tribute to my beloved Anna Sai Krishna.
On July 19, 2013, I was thinking of how Swami had responded to me as my elder brother on
Krishnashtami the previous year (http://voyagetowardstheself.blogspot.in/2012/08/a-beautiful-krishna-janmashtami.html).
I immediately
felt I should send Him a Rakhi and greeting card to Prasanthi Nilayam for
Raksha Bandhan that was coming up on August 20, 2013. So I sat and wrote a detailed
letter to Swami explaining how He is my brother Krishna, etc., etc., and how I
am His Draupadi. I also said that He should uphold His promise to me and said I
wanted to send a Rakhi and card for Him.
The next day on
July 20, 2013, I read somewhere that on one occasion when Lord Krishna cut His
finger while cutting sugar cane, Draupadi instantly tore off a bit of her saree
to tie up His bleeding finger. Krishna then said that she'd tied Him up in debt.
He added that He would repay when the time came and He would protect her. I was
very moved on reading this and prayed earnestly to Bhagawan to shower His grace
upon me, just like He did for Draupadi. I later bought one Rakhi and kept it
aside for Bhagawan.
Cut to August 1, 2013.
I bought 2 new Rakhis that morning
and thought I would send them to Puttaparthi for Bhagawan and also for a very
dear and caring Sai brother but had some hesitation. This is
because on one side I was angry and fighting with Swami as I was worried about my
mother's impending cataract surgery the next day (August 2, 2013).
Two days earlier, on July 31,
2013, when we went to Sankara Netralaya in Chennai for a thorough check-up by
the physician, he checked mom's BP and said it was quite high. He said that he
would give tablets for the next 2 days and only if the BP was normal on the
morning of August 2, mom would be taken in for surgery. Naturally mom, dad and
I were worried and not sure whether the surgery would happen or not.
On August 1, 2013, as I wrote
earlier, I was mad at Swami but prayed to Him about the Rakhis as well as mom's
surgery the next day. I wrote a letter to Him and prayed intensely about
various things that were troubling me. I told Him that it was He who gave me
the thought of comparing myself to Draupadi the previous year, and not Radha or
Meera. I added that since He had promised as my brother, He should take care
of everything. I also told Him that I hoped He would accept my love through the
Rakhi and greeting card I was planning to send Him.
That night, I told Swami that I would
open a book and look for a message just before I went to sleep around midnight.
I told Him it could be anything and nothing specific. The book I opened was ‘Students
with Sai – Conversations - Part 1 - 1991 to 2000’ (http://www.saipublications.com/b014_Students_with_sai_conversations_1991_2000.html)
I was indeed pleasantly shocked
at what appeared on the page I opened up. Bhagawan had spoken about Raksha
Bandhan!!!
This is what was printed there.
August 19,
1997
(The
conversation then shifted to Raksha Bandhan – the previous day being Rakhi
Pournami. Bhagawan disclosed that the practice had started during the
Mahabharatha War)
One day, as
Lord Krishna was about to leave for the battlefield, His sister Subhadra came
and asked if she could tie a Rakhi to His hand and Lord Krishna agreed.
Tears immediately flowed from my eyes. I thanked Swami for giving me His assurance as my brother and also
giving a positive sign to send the Rakhis and greeting cards to Parthi. I also
knew He would take care of mom's surgery the next day. Needless to say, mom's
BP was normal the next day and her surgery went off successfully. She was back
to normal in 2 weeks itself! But the story of the Rakhis and
greeting cards did not end there.
On August 8, I couriered the
Rakhis and greeting cards to the brother in Parthi. Little did I realize what
drama Swami had planned ahead!
I kept checking the online
tracking for the courier but it kept saying 'In transit' and so on August 16, I
enquired at the courier office in my area. The person said he'd check and call
back in the evening but didn't.
I spoke to the brother that night
and he asked me to check if the parcel had reached the courier office in Parthi
and let him know, so that he could then go and collect it. He said because of
the Telengana issue the courier might have reached the office in Parthi but
would not have been delivered inside the ashram.
Another interesting thing is that
on August 16, I was searching the Radio Sai web site for a few bhajans in Desh
raga and I stumbled upon 'Sai Kanhaiya'. This is a bhajan I know very well but
for some reason had forgotten it. Swami reminded me about it that particular
day and it got stuck in my mind.
As I ruminated upon the
meaningful lyrics, it made me cry and I felt it was customized for me because
of its lyrics 'Tum ho mere maa baap bhaiyya, Hridayanivasi Krishna Kanhaiya'.
So I decided to sing it on the upcoming Sunday for Swami in the evening bhajan
at Sai Nivas, the Sai mandir near my house.
In the meanwhile, I began to get
worried thinking "What if the courier doesn't reach Parthi in time? Maybe I
should offer a card and Rakhi here at Sai Nivas itself. Swami is very much
here." In my mind I said "Swami, you cannot reject my card and Rakhi here. You
have to accept."
That is when I decided to prepare
a small greeting card and write my heartfelt feelings for Swami. I decided to
keep the first Rakhi that I had bought for Him and also sing 'Sai Kanhaiya' for
Him. I told one brother here about this idea and asked him to request one of
our senior elders to keep the card in front of Swami's photo in the altar at
Sai Nivas.
On the evening of August 18, I
sang the bhajan during the bhajan session. Later, I asked the brother where the
card was placed, since it didn't seem to be in front of Swami's photo. He
pointed out that it is below Swami's footstool in His chair. I smiled.
We had a
meeting of all our samithi members regarding various things that evening and I too
attended it. Suddenly, towards the end of the session, one uncle (whom I'd
spoken to in the morning and had even shared about Raksha Bandhan and my Rakhi
offering to Swami) called out my name and said I should share about Raksha
Bandhan and its origin and my experience.
I initially thought, "Oh, why is
he doing this? I haven't shared this with too many people." But I didn't want
to create a fuss about not speaking. Moreover, I thought it was Swami's will
and blessing that I should talk about this on the mike and so I shared all the
details. Many people (including the convenor) later appreciated and said I
spoke from the heart.
Looking back, I feel that Swami
created this drama of the courier apparently not reaching the brother in time
just so that I would get prompted to offer the card and Rakhi and the bhajan on
August 18 at Sai Nivas to Him. :) Also, He made me speak about it in His
presence that evening on the mike. What a blessing!
A little detour here. After nearly 2 years I am putting up this blog post. I was a bit hesitant but thought I will still do it as an offering to Swami. Even as I am composing this in my blog and I finished 'What a blessing!' in the previous paragraph, a rose from Swami's photo on my wall fell with a distinct thud on the floor, as if someone took it and put it down. Wow! :)
I have not switched on the fan in my room and so there is no wind to make the rose fall. I'm absolutely sure it is Swami who showed His presence now, accepting this blog post. :) Thank you Swami!
To continue the story...
I found out from the courier office the next day that the courier had indeed reached
Parthi but was at the office there.
So I requested the brother to go and collect the package. He did so on August
19, just a day before Raksha Bandhan.
I wrote a poem in the greeting
card I sent to Parthi for Bhagawan. But sadly I did not make a note of what I
wrote.
However I did make a note of what
I wrote in the card I offered at Sai Nivas. And here it is:
It is YOU I run to every time I need
help or guidance.
It is YOU I hold on to when in pain or
anxiety.
YOU know my fears, YOU know my tears.
YOU know my ecstasies, YOU know my
efforts.
It is YOUR HAND I clasp firmly all the
time.
And it's YOU ALONE I'm totally depending
on.
You are my mother, father, brother — MY
ALL-IN-ONE PERSONAL GOD.
You know every fleeting thought and
every letter I'm about to write.
You never forget a prayer, even if I do.
I have come to realize that I am Thee
and You are me,
for I see your response to every thought
and plea.
YOU ARE THE CORE OF MY INNER BEING.
YOU ALONE ARE THE SOURCE OF ALL GOOD
WITHIN ME.
Even if I'm incapable on my own, You
have the power to make Your love flow through me.
You alone can change anything and
everything.
Dearest
Bhagawan,
Tum ho mere maa baap bhaiyya
Hridayanivasi Krishna Kanhaiya
Hridayanivasi Sai Kanhaiya
Paar karo mere jeevan naiyya.
This sacred bond of love that a sister
ties to her brother, I tie to You today.
In return, I seek Your love as my
protective armour.
May this Raksha Bandhan between me and
You last for lifetimes.
I beseech You to accept this offering of
love and gratitude!
Swami did acknowledge what I
wrote! And how beautifully He did it! :-)
A month later, for my birthday,
the brother sent me a loving wish. And in it he had written "Wishing
you a great, fulfilling, Sai-filled life ahead!" and "Swami will
take care and fill you with His protection and love.... I am sure!!"
I was totally amazed at this
because in my heart I felt that in return for the line 'I seek your love as my
protective armour' I had written in my greeting card, Swami had sent His
promise and reassurance through the words of this brother as my birthday gift,
a month after Raksha Bandhan.
